Chapter 3 is up

So I've been writing a story recently and I'm trying to... well, not stop.

Chapters 1, 2 and 3 are already up!

Please read and let me know what you think :)

Factory photoshoot

So before I bring you all the lovely pictures from Italy in a tiny little flickr link, I'll show you what I've been up to the last few days (before going and after coming back).

 

 

The rest of the set, comprising of 68 photos, can be found here on its own Flickr set

I'm actually really happy with how these turned out because I've never shot people before :D Diana and Sara were incredibly patient so thank you for bearing with me for so long.

The place we shot in is an abandoned factory in Amadora, near Lisbon. For someone who is obsessed with abandoned and derelict places like me it was a joy to finally get into one - there are a lot of these places in Lisbon but all of them are closed. For the first time I actually got to explore one! All of its four floors were safe to walk on, there were some remains of the time the employees spent there - a lot of paper records, phonebooks, an ad for a typewriter, etc - and a few hints of what each room was for (i.e. we found the laboratory pretty easily, it had sinks and lots of bottles of chemicals).

Here are some unedited shots of the factory in question.

I'm off to select some photographs of Italy and then probably start writing my motivation letter.

Concept sketches & travelling beauty advice

So I'm back to my (not so little) home in Lisbon, where thunderstorms are raging, just like they were when we left a week ago. Back to the mess of Chanel and Dior nail polish bottles that is my desk, back to my tiny little hyperactive balls of fur... and to the hell that is University.

I will show you all some pictures from my trip as soon as I get around to resizing, editing and uploading them.... not to mention selecting them (out of 1500). It's tiring and I'm not up for it tonight honestly so I'll just show you something else.

This is the armour for a character in a story I'm working on. It sounds pretty vague, I know - but I know me; I get over-excited whenever I make a new story and I continuously build on characters and worlds and when I get on to writing it I never go past two pages (yet I still continue building on the whole plot, just not in writing). So right now I'm trying not to get too over-excited and tell everyone about every single detail because a) they don't care and b) too much talking, too little writing. I'll just tell you his name is Cornelius, he's not one of the main characters but his role is pretty big and he's a crown prince. And this is a pretty bad asymmetrical sketch but I don't really care because I like the design of the armour and I never drew armour before so here.
I am in love with the helm. Go on, judge me, I don't care. I think it's sexy. And fur trims on capes, hmm.

Also while I was reading fashion mags on my way to Lisbon I made a mental list of all the must-have beauty items on-the-go: airplanes, trains, anything where you can't have your whole makeup set with you.

• Light, all-round moisturizer
• Powder foundation (for my skin, yours might be liquid) and/or concealer (I don't need it but most people do).
• Neutral eyeliner pencil - brown or black, not necessary, just in case.
• Black waterproof mascara - essential, even if you don't wear eyeliner or lipstick, a little mascara makes a huge difference.
• Treatment/hydrating lipstick. You can use it as a base for your colour lipstick but a good, skincare lipstick is essential. I always have mine with me!
• Anti-frizz hair cream, your hair probably gets frizzy when rubbed against train/airplane seats for a long time, trust me.
• Moisturizing/repairing hand cream - hands and skin in general gets really dry especially in closed, air-conditioned environments.

My basic makeup routine when I know my day will consist of hotel -> car -> airport -> airplane -> airport -> airplane -> car -> bed (and it happens very often) is exactly that: basic. It has to be fast so you can reapply during travels, uncomplicated so any light will do and you don't have to check every 5 minutes. 1. Morning skincare - any way you do it. Exfoliating, cleanser, facial soap... 2. Moisturizer, and keep it at hand with you during your trip. It will help. 3. Light foundation, just a tad! I use powder because I have mixed skin. Powder is very practical for trips, you just slip it somewhere in your bag, no need for transparent liquids bag. 4. Hydrating lip-care lipstick, then your own lipstick or gloss over it. 5. Mascara. 

As you can see, no need for eyeliner!

Okay, I'm tired and I'm done here but I will try to work through my photos tomorrow.

Hope you're all having a lovely week (now weekend)!

A Monologue

Whenever I get out of a house and into the car I like to put my hand out of the window. Feeling the wind brush between your fingers and against your palm almost makes you believe you can actually grab that freedom, that cold, bitter air that fills your lungs and makes your heart stop. A painful, perfect freedom.

From the start we were meant to live like this, like ghosts. And like ghosts, we wander. Our home is whatever coat we wear that day, the back seat of the old car that will never look the same anymore, the 24-hour diner we happen to find open on our way to yet another barren land where we won’t stay for long. To many of you this might seem like freedom, to us, it’s an everyday prison.

I’ve thought about death. How liberating it must be, not being imprisoned in your own body anymore, even if it does end there, even if there is nothing beyond our physical self. Maybe if I died I’d have a home; maybe if I died at least I would be sleeping forever under some kind of roof, until I finally withered away. Right now, I am slowly decomposing, I am a shadow of the human I was born as. There is nothing to me but bags in the trunk of a car, two books hidden in a seat back pocket and a pair of dark eyes that have long lost their shine.

I have secrets. The three of us have secrets. They keep us going, help us breathe, help us eat. They wash our backs in the public showers and tuck us into hostel beds at night. We live off our secrets, we feed on them to stay sharp. Most of them we can never share with anyone outside our group, some of them we can never share with each other. A few of them we can’t even admit them to ourselves. But everyone is like this, not just us. Living, breathing people are full of secrets - poisonous, like parasites. But the living are fed on by their secrets. Ghosts, like us, feed off them. Eventually, they will be hollow, and we will be out of things to hide.

What then? What will be left then?

An empty car, a worn coat, second-hand gloves and two books hidden in a seat back pocket. This is all there is to us. It’s all there will be once we run of out secrets, of virgin roads, abandoned houses, cheap hostels and outdated maps. And you probably wonder why I’m being so mysterious… this is a diary, after all. But I can’t even know what I’m hiding, so you can’t either. I lie to myself. We all do. You do too.

But if I could just grab that freedom that brushes past my fingers and against my palm when I put my hand out the car window… Maybe if I could grab it, things would change.

This image of freedom would be over, and I would be free.